If only

It's not that I miss you or what we had
It's the thought of what was
and not really understanding
was it that good
or really that bad?

Did the light burn too bight for a short period of time
Or was there no light to speak of,
and the whole time...I was just blind?

Did you ever see me as I saw you?
Fun, funny, beautiful...
was that even you?
Did I see you or were you what I wanted
to see?

When you said you loved me
was it real?

Were you with me
 truly? 
Or just with me
 so you weren't alone?

I hate that when I look at you
I can't help but smile
I lose my breath for a short while
I feel as if I am flying.

Those things never happened to you?
At least not when you looked at me.
I don't really miss you
Just wish I could have really seen

Now I hide from anyone
who might want to fall for me
I no longer trust
I no longer hope
I want to just be
And be happy with me.

I don't want to doubt
I don't want to hurt
I don't want to believe...
Is there anyone for me?

I burned too bright towards you 
and I'm sure it was blinding.
I can no longer read your eyes
I no longer see you smiling
It's time to turn away
And stop trying.