When you look at me 
What is the first thing you see?
I'm a white woman!

But, what else is there to me...?

I''m of average height
I'm neither over weight nor
too skinny.

I am comfortable in my skin
happy with my body
I think too much
I dream of possibilities
I have failed
But I didn't give up
I have fallen
found my way back up.

I laugh now
as often as I can
I smile
just because

 There is still more to me
That you can not see...

I was abused as a child
You wouldn't know that 
I attempted suicide 
Something else you can't see 
~just by looking at me

I loved a man deeply
Thought he would protect me
be my everything;

You can't see the pain
that followed when
our future together
didn't last

I fight depression
a lot.
Society says I should be ashamed 
to ask for help when the pain gets too much.
Some days I'm ashamed to admit I need help
I want my children to see 
strength in me.

I have amazing children!
 I wouldn't have
them if I hadn't fought through the pain

 I'm complicated
I'm funny
I'm grateful to still be alive

These are things you wouldn't see
unless you look deeper into me
and not assume~ 
All that I am 
is just a white woman.

~we can not all be the boring would life be if we were?
~lets keep our hearts open
~All life matters
Lets not judge each other but celebrate each other for the path we have walked and survived!
Who are you?

Finding me

I think I've lost something
I felt that feeling 
something is missing
But I couldn't say

I sat too long in hopes
I would remember
just what 
had gone away

I stood up
to walk around
that feeling of loss
wouldn't go away

I stared out the window
in hopes my mind
would reach out and find

I tried to distracted my thoughts
by not thinking
"what could be missing?"

Maybe, it would find me.

That didn't work well
the loss was heavy on my mind
I needed to know
what have I left behind?

It was like a black hole 
filled the space 
where memories
had once been placed.

The struggle my thoughts 
put to my mind
made me wonder
was it me I had left behind?

I live in a world where my thoughts are my own
I haven't shared my dreams 
with anyone.

I've built a safe around my self 
where even I have lost the key.

Maybe the something I have forgotten

Your soul to keep

I want to float:
 with the wind
I want to sail 
on top of the ocean,
glide next to the waves
before their 
anger is broken.

I want to feel:
the beat of a warm heart
pounding within my chest
to a rhythm 
that knows no pain.

I want to touch:
beauty in a kiss
tears of joy
happiness in love
a kind mind
a true embrace.

I want to hear:
lost words
never spoken
promises that will
never be broken.

I want to fly:
spread unseen wings
feel the sun heat each feather
warm my blood 
lift my soul
inhale breath
I want to fly 

Glass heart

A heart of glass
 easily broken

Lips tender
beg to kiss

Eyes moist
tears holding on to fall

Soft skin
  wants to be touched

Fingers unsure
to reach for love

Bright soul
hiding behind dark walls

Loving someone
shouldn't be so hard.

Wishes for you

I wish peace for you
I wish happiness too
I hope you find what makes you shine

I see good in you
I hope you see it too
I see what you can be
If you just let yourself believe

Calm your mind
Ignite your soul
Allow your heart 
To show your feet where to go

Smile often
Laugh till it hurts
Cry not from pain
But that your life is so full
You will burst.

I wish for you
What you've always dreamt for
I want for you
What you have reached for.
Put your heart into 
what you love
and there will be no more wishing.

Take that leap of faith
Find what you have been missing
Look inside a little more 
This is your new beginning.