Thinking of you

I’ve been thinking of you!

Thinking how blue your eyes are
How red your lips
How tender yet strong your finger tips.
The strength of your arms when I’m wrapped inside
The taste of your tongue when it meets mine.

I’ve been thinking of you~

I’ve been dreaming of touching you
Dreaming of having you touch me
Getting all excited just thinking how much fun it would be
I know where I would linger the most
Where my fingers would trace
While enjoying that look on your face.

I’ve been thinking of you~

I’ve seen where you would touch me 
I’ve guided your fingers to those places
Feeling you touch me as I ask
Feeling how strongly you react
Hearing your breathing take a turn
Feeling the spinning of the room
Having your body so close to mine
Moving in rhythm
No care for time.

I’ve been thinking of you~

Lying next to me
Tired and yet still hungry
Ready to take another spin
Wondering how to begin
Looking me up from head to toe
Watching me glisten seeing me glow

I’ve been thinking of you~

Those amazing lips
That sweet tongue
Another taste...
Couldn’t stop at just one
Out of breath but don’t want to rest
Touching you every inch
With my fingers, tongue and lips
Have to have these thoughts come true!
Lover, I’ve been thinking of you~

Vanished


What does love look like?
What sounds does it make?
Is it really love
just because the heart aches?

If I disappeared
would you look for me?
If I was gone
what would you do to 
find me?

It has been said 
"If you love someone
set them free."
It's the waiting
that makes me no longer
believe.

I climbed a mountain
just to find you.
I grew wings so I could fly.
I challenged the troll, so I might cross
the bridge that lies between 
What once was
and 
What is now lost.

I looked to the skies for answers
I stood in front of despair and
asked for hope.

It was then that I knew...

The pain struck like a bullet
Tore through broken flesh
Blood flowed like a river
Tears stopped with breath
Nothing left to imagine
Love is gone...
There's only death.


Potential

I've lost you.

You can not keep a most precious gift locked away
You don't get to decide when to let it out to play
You don't get to say when it's safe to be seen
You do not get to say
"I love you"
Then turn and leave.

You don't get to be 
the 
One.

It was once what I saw in you
It was there only awhile
It was the best part of you,
but...
Once you saw what it was
You hid it away
and
Made me beg and beg to 
have it stay.

In that you found power
In there you found some strength
With that you brought confusion.

 for me...
there was laughter 
at
 ~my pain.

You didn't want my fairy tale
You never wanted the 
forever after.

Hearts should not be played.
Kisses shouldn't carry poison
Smiles shouldn't mask lies
Fingers while touching
shouldn't leave scars.

Somethings can't be reached
Somethings shouldn't be seen
I should have known...
 to see, 
Potential in you

~Was only my dream.





Writers write


The pages
sit... 
waiting to be touched
hoping to be fed
desperate to feel 
the pressing from the tip of a pen

Gently moving 
one letter at a time
placing words 
into sentences
growing into paragraphs

The filling up
The turning over
the beginning again.
each page no longer white
each page finally carrying
those important words.

The way it feels to be loved so much
to be wanted all the time
to keep the eyes 
of the writer
penetrated on each word 
that fill the pages
that become 
The story...

The pen sits...
looks over at the pages
waits for the writer
to pick it up.

Remembering the feeling
of the touching of pages
what it was like to 
fill them with words.
It happened once before
It was glorious.

A day of spilling ink, politely,
in angles that made the writer smile.
The white on those pages disappeared
and ink took over.
Scratching 
moving
spilling
delightfully filling up
The story...

The chair waits...
The desk wonders...

The writer walks to the room!

















Forget comfort zone


You know that place between fear and understanding?

That place where you know you can do it
You feel you have to do it
You ask God to help you through it

You smile at the thought
and then your heart jumps
You are excited
You are terrified
You can't wait
You have to wait

That place where fear isn't the scariest feeling
Not trying scares you more.

There is nothing holding you back
No one saying you shouldn't
No one believing you couldn't 
Even you know it's possible

So, Here we go
Moving forward
Pushing past the fear
Making it happen
Stepping out of the comfort zone
Finding freedom
Finding new beginnings.
Opening your eyes and heart to 
possibilities.

Don't forget to breathe!



Challenge

You don't know me
Nor what I have the power to do
You don't know my... 
thoughts
 heart
 faith 
 motivation.
So you don't get to judge me.

I waste no energy on judging you
You are what you want to be
You do what you want to do
You believe what you believe
But do you believe in you?

I believe in the things 
I know I can do
I know I can do anything.

I feel fear
I know pain
I've seen doors close
 and then open again.
I've seen windows shatter
I've seen hearts break.
I've watched broken hearts heal, again.

I've watched others stop
before they reached their beginning
There they found their end.

I am ever changing
I am always... 
seeking
watching
growing
learning.
I choose to be better tomorrow
Than I am today.

I fall
but I stand again.
I hurt
but I heal.
I've lost
but I'll find. 
I'll live...
Fully!

At my end
I will say
I truly lived!





Truly deeply








Love with all you are while in the moment
For if that moment happens to fail
You can say you have no regrets
Because you gave all of yourself.
That's something to be proud of!



Seasons change


The light that was once so bright
Is hiding behind the night.
The stars that danced
Now stationary
The moon
Has looked the other way.

Water falling from sad eyes.
Lips forgetting how to smile.
Arms with no one to embrace.
A Heart slowing down its pace.

Being lost and unfound
Unsure of shaky ground.
Standing alone, 
amongst the trees,
Waiting for water to cover me.

No warmth between these hills
No direction to follow
 For one moment may I ask to borrow?
Mountains hiding an unknown tomorrow.

Waiting to know what I have forgotten
Hoping to see past the night
Looking for solid ground.
Asking anyone
Find me.





Behind closed walls


What is this that always comes between us?

I reached for you 
You pulled away
Can't tell you how that felt 
To watch you walk away.

Yesterday was wonderful
Today you run away
Tomorrow, I pray for you to stay.

We dance around wanting
We crave never enough
We hope for better
Is there ever room for just us?

lost within a secret
living in the shadow of what could be.
Looking for some one to hear
 My silent screams.

 Confused in a sea of emotion
Tangled in a web of lies
Hoping to find some truth
Behind blank eyes.

I hide behind walls I've taken years to build
Why should I take them down?
You are curious about the other side,
But not curious enough to climb?
You ask me to trust and believe
When I do, will you too leave?

Why take the chance?
Why fight at all
Nothing hurts behind these walls.
Accept the thought that I am alone
But I can forget I thought that thought at all.

Be curious all you want
It is the true 
Who might get past these walls.
For I am the keeper of heartache and pain
What you think you see
Might not be at all
So, only the brave 
Should try to battle these walls.

Are there any brave ones amongst you?



Holding on to letting go

There's this voice inside
That tells me to run and hide.
She talks about the pain
That will be
If I fall
and allow you 
to
Love me.

I've blocked them all out
I've kept them all away
I've told myself
"Don't allow them to stay"
I can be alone ~
Happily.
I can hold my own ~
Impeccably.

Once I believed
 I needed
Someone.
Once I wanted
Anyone.
But, I put that all
Away.
I held those thoughts 
at bay.

Now, if anyone
wants to be my 
someone.
There's something 
that 
they should know ~
I don't need 
anyone
to help me feel whole.
I want someone
who can hold their own,
walk next to me,
see me,
for who I am.
And, not try to change me
Or be something 
other
Than the best 
that they can.





They feel it

Can you see the fun
 that is
In the moment 
when two people
Realize
It's only together they feel 
as one!

You watch them smile
You catch that look
as it passes
 between them.

They don't see you
And you don't need them to

It's in watching them
You feel it too can happen
for you.

She giggles
He laughs
Then silence
He wants to kiss her
She wants him too
He waits a minute too long
She takes the lead

Lips crash together
His eyes go wide.
She breathes in
He can't catch his…

You begin to dream
of a time
a moment
Where such passion
Will
Embrace you
and take your
Breath away too.



We all want it


We all want that moment
When…
 Eyes meet
Lips touch
Heart beats 
too much

Breath too short
Then too fast
We want it to always last
That moment
When…

We can't let go
We walk away too slow
We always look back
To see you once more.

That moment
When…
We feel there's no way
Any other could get in the way
Make us feel better
Then we do right now, Today!

That moment
When…
Promises seem real
Words are meant
Deeds are done.
Seeing each other 
Sparks fly

That moment
When…
Without you
Isn't real
Tomorrow comes
Because of us.
That moment 
When…
I could miss you this much!





Conquering Fears

The other night I had the strangest dream.
I stood on a road and directly in front of me
Two doors, exactly the same, but the driveway
To get to either one 
was
Very different.

To the white door on my right
The driveway had stairs and a hand rail
The path was smooth
The door was bright
Everything looked so easy
I felt the invite.

The white door on my left
Was much further back
There were no stairs
There was no railing
The path was filled with rocks,
Boulders
There were thorns everywhere
This door sorta scared me.

But, deep inside I knew
It was the driveway to my left I needed to travel.
Though I didn't know what was behind the doors
I knew I needed
To take the difficult road.

Whatever was behind 
either door 
wouldn't mean anything to me
If the journey wasn't 
A challenge.

Within the dream
The door 
must have represented the end.
And the walk
My Life!

I chose. 
I have no regrets
All the pain, blood, sweat,
Tears.
Means a life
of conquering 
My fears!