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Showing posts from June, 2015

Depression takes hold

How can I explain this pain to you? It's as if you are standing at the edge of a cliff but nothing is behind you nothing in front of you and darkness is falling  down on you.  There is no room to sit The ground is breaking beneath your feet. You can't move! You scream but you don't know if anyone  will hear you. You don't know if anyone will  look for you. The terrible things that leak  from your mind Telling you "You're out of time." Suddenly there isn't enough air to breathe. Your lungs become hungry. Your eyes dry Your throat empty No sounds are allowed to pass. Your heart beats~  but with each beat It's a punch to your lungs That already can not inflate. These are the feelings I feel When depression takes hold of me.

Depression smiles

I was raised hearing the phrase "Laugh and the world laughs with you Cry and you cry alone." I believed it I lived it And yet, I feel alone. I made them laugh and when I did They stayed. When the laughter stopped They went away. How could I not believe such a phrase? I tested the theory: I cried!  They said "I don't know what to do if it is you that isn't smiling." Sad but true some don't know what to do does that mean they shouldn't try? So, I dried my eyes and only cry when the world isn't watching. A lonely place to be. A comedian's dream is to have you laugh But who makes sure  The comedian laughs too?

Depression sleeps

No one will say  ~ I'm not enough No one will say  ~They aren't comforted by my touch. My Dreams are where I am able to hide... from the sting of words, and all that hate within their eyes. I tried to be what they wanted  me to be. But, even then, They turned on me. So, In my dreams I lock them out I hide away  I shut out all doubt. I'm who I think I want to be When no one else is judging me. No one can hurt me in here. No one,  In here, ignores ~my fears.

Fighting depression

Everyday,  I live with depression. In every way I fend it off. Some days it creeps up on me Other days~ It hits me full force in my face It's an all consuming darkness It brings with it pain and despair. It engulfs my lungs It pokes holes in my heart Drains my soul. Tells my brain "You are worthless!" It's as if I am fighting to close a door But, depression is almost as strong as me Somedays, it's stronger than me. I'll hide away So none can see Just how much pain Depression can be. I don't want everyone to see How really small and insignificant  I feel to be.