Chasing your dream


Feel you wrapped within

I wouldn't want to be your coffee 
for fear I'd burn your lips
I wouldn't want to be the book you read
though you do gently stroke the pages
with your finger tips

I would want to be your sheets
if I had one wish...

I want to be the one who you take off all your clothes for
watch you crawl within me
excited, soft and exposed
feel you rolling around and take me 
within your tight grasp
feel you tangle up with me
see your smile so relaxed

I want to be the one who you tell all your friends
"I can not go out
I'm all wrapped up in"

to see you so peaceful
to watch you smile
to know it is I
who warms you
for awhile

to feel your lips brush against me
to feel your heart beat
to know you sleep so gently
because of me
Ya, I wanna be your sheets!




In the shadows


Do you know how it feels 
to be
embraced by the shadows?
You think the fun is in the light?
but in the darkness
we are invisible

You don't want to see
what hides out in here
Takes a man without fear
to look beyond the light
and feel what hides
within the night.

In here there are no eyes to see
in here no ears to hear
steps taken so lightly
sound swallowed
by silence
not wanting to be heard

You wouldn't want to venture in
for fear it would consume you
The shadows hide behind open doors
they sneak up behind you
Don't turn 
you wouldn't find them
Shadows move ~ to find you.



Free me



There's a wall around my heart 
its been there for awhile~
It keeps me strong!

My wall fights off the fears
My wall fends off the tears
My wall
 keeps me from wanting...

My heart beats
for no-one 
but to keep the breath
within my chest

The scars are what I have 
to show
I was once 
 a fighter

I've beaten so many monsters
~alone
I've accepted this situation
as my own
I've accepted 
how I got here.

My wall allows me to see
but no longer to feel
am I missing something?

No one stronger than I
has approached my wall
and if they ever had
they turned away too soon
they didn't fight or ask to see
what a wall so tall could be hiding

For no one has tried 
to break down my wall
to shine a light into the darkness
for if they had
they just might see...
 behind a broken heart
is the soul
of a hopeful girl











Whisper to you

I don't whisper to you
so others can't hear
I whisper so that my lips 
will bring you near

I whisper 
so once you're next to me
I may feel your desire
breathe in your lust
share a brief moment 
of 
passion between us

I whisper
so that I may see
that look in your eyes...
~eager
Yes, be eager
for you will see
just how eager 
our passion can be

I'll press my lips to you
~a whisper too close?
It's just what we need
our bodies to feel
~heat
It burns from me
do you feel it too?

Then close your eyes 
and
Let me whisper to you










All is not gone


I say I don't need you 
~When you forget to call
I say I didn't want you
~When you decided to end it all

I thought that I once loved you
~You told me I was wrong
You said,
"There's more to love 
than what we had going on"

I once believed I needed you
~You showed me that I didn't
I hoped you would come back to me
~Then remembered why you wouldn't

I couldn't forget about you for the longest time
~Then one day I realized
You hadn't been on my mind

A smile appeared
knowing you were gone
~How weird.
I didn't need you at all.














Try not to stare


I wonder
what would you do
If I ask to slowly undress you?

Standing there in a suit
so well dressed 
so refined...
I've already undressed you in my mind

I've imagined what that shirt
looks like on the floor
What's underneath
will I get to explore?

May I pretty please
trace the lines 
from 
the muscles in your neck 
to the top 
of your behind?

Oh, if you please
just the thought
brings me to my knees.

Lets continue
lets move on
the pants you have
shouldn't be left on

I'll just un-button here 
un-zip down to there
let them fall
mmm, now there...

We are getting to the fun
we are almost there
silly me...
I'll try not to stare

I take that back
I promise nothing
I've brought you this far
Now give me something
I'll leave nothing to waste
lets finish the rest...

In under a second
I'll be out of this dress!


Suicide Prevention




Hope you will see
just how beautiful 
your life can be...

You must stay to find out
What this life is all about

I want my fight to mean 
something
To those who believe they have
nothing
I wish for you to know 
You can have everything.

Stay and find out
just who you were meant to be!
You are stronger than you know!!
Your inner strength is your key!




Get close to me

Have you thought
 of 
what it would be like
to explore the parts of me 
you can not see?

Run you hands up my leg
your fingers down my thigh

Go slow...
The best places to find
Shouldn't be left behind

Yes, there you should be
nibble with your lips
touch loosely with your finger tips
spend some extra time
Really, I don't mind

I want to see that look in your eyes
The one that says 
"Thank God, she's mine"

Pull me close
Let me feel what my body does to yours
Yes, that's what I was hoping for...
Turn you on
Burning hot
Can't get enough
Don't stop

Can you get closer?
We should see
What your body feels like 
wrapped within me.





Finding strength

Jesus, may I please come home?
I want to be near you and feel your loving touch
No one here has loved me that much

Jesus, I've tried to have them hear
I asked them to stay near
They didn't believe what I had to say
They closed their hearts
They said it wasn't true
"No man of God would do such a thing to you"

The tears that fell that day
Burned Deeper
than any I've cried ~ to this day.

I went to your house
 asked to be free
They said, "pray"
They said God would save me, 
someday

Jesus, can that day be today?

I'm just one child
I'm only one voice
You said I had a choice
I choose to come home
I choose to leave this place

How can you say "Stay"?
Why do you tell me
"You are stronger than you know"
Show me what I am to do
Let me see
What is it you believe 
is so special
about me?





Stay...You are stronger than you know


I wanted to die that day
I wanted the pain I was feeling
to go away

No one heard me 
when I would say
"I don't like him
keep him away"

To them I was just a child
and
what did a child know, anyway?

I knew I felt dirty
I knew I felt fear
I knew I couldn't stand
to have him near.

Every piece of me
was disappearing.

 I retreated into my own space
I lived within my own confines
~trying to decide
how to leave this pain behind

Sleep was my way of escape
oh how wonderful would it be
if I could sleep for eternity?

I swallowed the pills
and I laid down to sleep
waiting for peace to comfort me

There was this light
and a little girl

She looked like me when I still smiled
She took my hand
we walked for awhile
 "You must stay." she said

There is a reason I'm still here
though it isn't always quite clear.
But these are the words I continue to hear
and will continue to show...
"You are stronger than you know"













Pinky Promise




I pinky promise 
I will stay.

Once upon a while ago
I made a choice that I had to go
I couldn't stand the pain any more
I was embarrassed to be seen
I was afraid of what you might think
If you knew what had happened to me.

I carried the shame of someone else's evil
I carried the guilt of another's bad deed
He walked around with his head in the clouds
While I shuffled with my eyes to the ground.

I couldn't stand to feel the way I was feeling
pain pulled at my heart
pain tugged at my soul
pain suffocated my will
pain destroyed my hope.

So thoughts to end it all
creeped in
No one would miss me
It would be better for them if I wasn't here.
Oh the things you think 
When you're deep in fear.

So I gave up
I swallowed them all
I drifted away
I heard a small girls voice call
"Stay, you are stronger than you know."
Curiosity seems to have gotten the better of me.
I wanted to know just what she did see.

And what do you know...
Though life isn't easy
I am stronger
than the pain
that tried to consume me!




Suicidesso far in 2016 34720. Average yearly stats for suicides is 30,000
suicide claims more deaths than accidents, homicides, and war combined. And many cases of suicide, particularly in the elderly, go completely undetected and unaccounted.

Suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death for ages 10-24.
Suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death for college-age youth and ages 12-18.
More teenagers and young adults die from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, pneumonia, influenza, and chronic lung disease, COMBINED.
Each day in our nation, there are an average of over 5,240 attempts by young people grades 7-12.

Four out of Five teens who attempt suicide have given clear warning signs





Labels



When you look at me 
What is the first thing you see?
I'm a white woman!

But, what else is there to me...?

I''m of average height
I'm neither over weight nor
too skinny.

I am comfortable in my skin
happy with my body
I think too much
I dream of possibilities
I have failed
But I didn't give up
I have fallen
found my way back up.

I laugh now
as often as I can
I smile
just because

 There is still more to me
That you can not see...

I was abused as a child
You wouldn't know that 
I attempted suicide 
Something else you can't see 
~just by looking at me

I loved a man deeply
Thought he would protect me
be my everything;
 always

You can't see the pain
that followed when
our future together
didn't last

I fight depression
a lot.
Society says I should be ashamed 
to ask for help when the pain gets too much.
Some days I'm ashamed to admit I need help
for
I want my children to see 
strength in me.

I have amazing children!
 I wouldn't have
them if I hadn't fought through the pain

 I'm complicated
I'm funny
I'm grateful to still be alive

These are things you wouldn't see
unless you look deeper into me
and not assume~ 
All that I am 
is just a white woman.





~we can not all be the same...how boring would life be if we were?
~lets keep our hearts open
~All life matters
Lets not judge each other but celebrate each other for the path we have walked and survived!
Who are you?






Finding me


I think I've lost something
I felt that feeling 
something is missing
But I couldn't say
what

I sat too long in hopes
I would remember
just what 
had gone away

I stood up
to walk around
that feeling of loss
wouldn't go away

I stared out the window
in hopes my mind
would reach out and find
~something

I tried to distracted my thoughts
by not thinking
"what could be missing?"

Maybe, it would find me.

That didn't work well
the loss was heavy on my mind
I needed to know
what have I left behind?

It was like a black hole 
filled the space 
where memories
had once been placed.

The struggle my thoughts 
put to my mind
made me wonder
was it me I had left behind?

I live in a world where my thoughts are my own
I haven't shared my dreams 
with anyone.

I've built a safe around my self 
where even I have lost the key.

Maybe the something I have forgotten
is 
me?



Your soul to keep




I want to float:
 with the wind
I want to sail 
on top of the ocean,
glide next to the waves
before their 
anger is broken.

I want to feel:
the beat of a warm heart
pounding within my chest
to a rhythm 
that knows no pain.

I want to touch:
beauty in a kiss
tears of joy
happiness in love
a kind mind
a true embrace.

I want to hear:
lost words
never spoken
promises that will
never be broken.

I want to fly:
spread unseen wings
feel the sun heat each feather
warm my blood 
lift my soul
inhale breath
jump
I want to fly 






Glass heart





A heart of glass
 easily broken

Lips tender
beg to kiss

Eyes moist
tears holding on to fall

Soft skin
  wants to be touched

Fingers unsure
to reach for love

Bright soul
hiding behind dark walls

Loving someone
shouldn't be so hard.